this message will self destruct in...

sometimes it seems like the aim of the game is to self destruct. like the whole point of life is to cause each other as much pain and suffering as is humanly possible - only then can we become inhuman - not like everyone else. unique because eve when you think you're experiencing unbounded pleasure, it is merely an absence of pain. when you inevitably return to reality, the pain returns, and with it a harsh reminder of the naiive futility of humanity.

no matter how hard we try to avoid it, try to fotget it, it lurks - waiting for those lonely moments of lucidity until you learn to welcome it, crave it like a drug, because it reminds you of your own unavoidable mortality.

and thus we live, trying to avoid the truth, avoid the pain, yet drunken with it - our minds converting suffering to a semblance of reality, pain to life; like a moth to the flame we are addicted to our own self-inflicted painful reminder of our own ability to breathe...

a drug for the soul...