Thursday, July 20, 2006

what indeed... child.

i know what my mother feels like. i cannot keep my 'family' together. they have cited irreconcilable differences and agreed to go their separate ways. and what of me? it seems i shall live here, alone, for a month. i am the heinous fiend that has forced the boy out of my home, to return to the evil lair of his mother, the dragoness. forced him to digress in mental age to that of a preschooler. to put his feet in my face, to demand that i drive to get him chocolate, to tell me i look horrible when i ask his opinion. to deny me our mutual friends, and make me feel guilty for my happiness.

it seems to me that jealousy plays an enormous part of our dynamics. we fight when i am home, which is when i'm not staying, shall we say elsewhere, for that is a story for another day indeed. he demands attention like a rabid puppy, and sulks when denied. he foully behaves like a preschooler, whinges to me about our absent cohabitant and yes, demands foot massages. to what do i owe this dubious pleasure? the same boy i spent two years of my life in love with. have i matured? or does he digress...

perhaps both.

perhaps it is merely that the rose coloured glasses have been removed from my eyes and i see, that behind an inherently talented, intelligent and good looking man lies the craving heart of a young boy. but i already knew that. now that the glasses have come off, i realise he is no longer my responsibility.

i am not your mother.

perhaps you would be more hospitable to live with if you said hello when you saw me instead of launching into a tirade of all the irritating things that occurred in your day, that if you were God - and you have no doubt that you are, yet i am yet to see proof of your apparent abilities - you would change... including enlarging the breasts of almost every female on the planet, and removing from the gene pool all non-petite, non-brunette, non-wogs. and me? of course, for i am the top of your list. after all i refused to buy you chocolate or suck your toes. all i do is ask you to stop watching television for a brief nanosecond and bring me a tool from the garage, whilst i'm perched on the ceiling removing a light fitting, before i clean the bathroom and after i do the washing up.

i left last night, and had a lovely time. how dare i be so foolish as to enter this house with a smile on my face. after all, there are so many things for you to whinge about or demand to wipe it off for me. how dare i assume that i have any right to be happy in this house! and lo, i am choosing between my friends. the one who treats me like an annoying piece of gum on his shoe, useful only for cooking him food on demand or chauffering him when drunk; this and more, or the one who greets me with a hug when i get home, cooks me food and, whilst she is rather OCD, is generally pleasant and isn't attached to the couch with an umbilical cord. she doesn't even borrow my computer without asking and create her own account! nor does she not speak to me for hours when i forget to pander to her every whim. and whilst he can choose to go home and live with his mother, she has nowhere to go. so yes, evil boy of the world, whilst you may think i am a horrible fiendish bitch of the universe, i shall in the meantime ensure that my friend who is nice to me has somewhere to live. and whilst that may be too difficult for you to understand at the current time, i'm sure you'll get over it.

after all, you are God.