Monday, February 12, 2007

the beautiful people.

i seem to be physically attracted to singularly beautiful men. smooth skin, dimpled cheeks, a well built musculature that would make any woman swoon, although given my history, i seem to prefer them slightly on the more slender side. its their ease, their charm, their ability to fall out of bed looking stunning and be not only capable but brilliant at almost everything asked of them that sets them apart from the rest of us mere humans. i have, and continue to be, enthralled by these creatures that seem never to rumple, pimple, sweat or fail; they intrigue me. and yet i have dated them and had my heart broken. and it is only now that i realise that this failing has not been on my part but on theirs also. they too are just beautiful, perfect mortals.

the one thing that sets every boy apart, in my mind, is their eyes. i've never dated a man with any less than exquisitely beautiful eyes. i've never dated a man with eyes like anyone else i've ever met. i suppose if you gaze into them long enough, you discover an inherently unique quality in anyone's eyes, and yet those men whose eyes i've scrutinized are so different that it astounds me. a boy on the bus this morning, on the seat in front of me, stole glances at me in the reflection of the glass divider. a finely sculpted face, and wispy blonde hair to his shoulders; a miscreant adonis on a dodgy old bus. i couldn't help but smile as he asked me for the time - it was obvious he turned only to obtain a better look. and yes, i felt special.

any woman will tell you that to be appreciated by a beautiful man is a shining highlight in our day.

the man i am dating is not, by conventional means, a beautiful man. handsome, indeed, in a rugged, manly, non-stereotypical 'beautifully' attractive way. he does, however, have qualities about him so pure that i cannot describe them by any other adjective than that - beautiful. he has sea-coloured eyes fringed by almost womanly lashes and seraphim lips that i never tire of perusing. and it makes me rethink all those people i have passed over as 'un-beautiful' - to reexamine and find, underneath it all, a pearl or two that are uniquely and beautifully theirs.

it seems to me that putatively beautiful men may make us swoon and make our hearts soar in adoration, however we as women fight a continuous battle with the great iniquity of The Male Ego. and as our hearts plummet as we are left behind by these beauteously arrogant obsessions - blinded, as it were, by the ethereal light radiating, scorching from their proverbial toned buttocks, we recover slowly - atom by atom - and begin anew in our perception of the world. it is only then that we can recognise the simple beauties of mankind and separate them from the gaudy, arrogant, garish extravagance of the 'beautiful people'.

i have a man who loves me. he thinks i'm beautiful.

you may keep your adonis, your david, your romeo, your cherubian nubil of pulchritude. romeo broke my heart, adonis was a vicious, depressive manipulist and david compensated for his own beauty by trying to destroy mine.

i'll keep my lover, thankyou very much.